For years I have kept some of my
sister’s belongings. This mug and blade were probably used by her when she was
doing the commercial artist’s course. I still use some of her clothes. Of
course, many of us keep things that once belonged to a loved one who has left
us. We know fully well that there’s not much in a thing. What we have in our
hearts is more valuable. But we continue to hold on to things, taking strange
comfort from them.
Initially I used to be upset with
change. Little things like a mouse that was changed when my pc was upgraded
affected me. It was used by her, so I had lost another part of her. But then I
realised the memories were worth more. Still, I couldn’t let go of some things.
So they remain with me. I look at them and feel good that I kept something that
was used and loved by her. It’s true, death doesn’t end a relationship. These
things are safe with me. I know she would have wanted it that way.
But as I kept some things, I also
stay away from some. Like a type of bag she wanted and asked me to buy for her,
but it never happened. Every time I see it in shops, I turn away.
Everything has changed for me after
my sister’s loss. I have changed. So these things I have kept, remind me of the
time we were all together and content. Of more good times than bad times. Of
times before and not after. Far from the time that changed
us all.
